The Journey into Audacity

I’ve been studying the word audacity.

As I said in my last post,

Someone felt that it was a word in season for me.

I want to encourage you to explore this word and what it might mean for you at this time of your life

And in the various roles you play.

To recap,

Audacity is simply a willingness to be daring,

Fearless,

Intrepid,

Brave,

Recklessly bold…

I’m learning what it means to be an audacious mum.

And I can’t say I’m down with it yet.

I’m getting there, but it’s causing a huge stretch!

I wouldn’t describe my natural parenting style as audacious.

Far from it.

Rather, I’d describe my approach as peaceable, relaxed, non confrontational…

I’m back in school right now.

Parenting school.

For me, it’s most definitely easier to shrink back,

Especially in the face of conflict.

My natural response,

As a melancholy/phlegmatic personality is to retreat.

It’s to ‘talk through’ the situation with my children,

Find a place of agreement,

Work it out with as little conflict as possible.

Often that means that I take the low road,

I don’t enjoy conflict remember.

But let me explain.

I live in a house with 3 A type personalities,

Two of which are my children (the other is my husband).

It makes for some fun times in our house.

I have no idea what the neighbours think of us.

My only consolation is that they still wave at us when they pull out of their driveways…

Anyway…

A type personalities,

Otherwise known as cholerics,

Are natural ‘bosses.’

They are used to dominating any situation,

Rather than having their situation dominate them.

But you see, this is the thing I’m learning.

It doesn’t matter what kind of personality you have.

In certain circumstances,

You have to supersede your natural bent and sway,

And operate out of a method that is sometimes unnatural to you.

It can potentially stretch you beyond every comfort zone you’ve known.

I have often found myself retreating instead of stepping up to the mark.

Many times.

My natural inclination as a peacemaker,

Rather than have to confront the conflict head on with phrases like,

‘You’ll do this on my terms,’

‘I am the boss’,

‘You will do what you’re told when I say it.’

Rather than letting the strong will of those who I co habit with,

Overrule my authority.

Being audacious as a mum for me means facing conflict head on,

Sometimes slamming it with a sledgehammer.

A sledgehammer of wills,

An exercising of authority that is hardly gentle,

And totally the opposite of what I’d consider normally doing.

But for the sake of my children, my marriage, my sanity,

Being audacious is a requirement in this season of motherhood for me.

What about you?

What areas are you needing to become more audacious in?

Has your authority been overruled and stamped on?

Do you need to become more fearless, more brave, more bold in the choices you make as a mum?

I’ll be looking further into this idea of what it means to be audacious,

As a parent,

As a woman,

As a friend,

As a business person,

As a leader,

As a pastor,

As a writer,

As a musician,

Over the next few weeks.

I hope you can join me on that journey,

And I would love to hear your thoughts.

Cate x

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What’s the deal with sacrifice? I’m still not sure.

I have understood for a while now that part of life is about sacrifice.

It’s a bittersweet truth,

And one that, if I’m being perfectly honest,

Am still fumbling with the perplexing nature of.

Especially in the context of the world I live in,

And the fact that society is very much grounded in how deeply we can gratify our own desires, needs and wants.

Sometimes sacrifice means giving up things you love for things you love even more.

There’s no greater love that can be shown than by giving up what you hold dearest,

Of letting it go for the sake of a greater cause, or a bigger purpose.

Being a mum, I know this sacrifice all too well.

You sacrifice your body, your time, pieces of your heart and everything else you hold dear in order to bring to birth a new life and to then love and train these little humans.

Parenthood is a sacrificial endeavour, yet it is full of reward and a greater gain.

This whole sacrifice thing is like a muddied stream, particularly at this point in my life,

But something in me tells me that hiding under its cloudy waters is some beautiful revelation.

Mariam sacrificed in a very real sense for Laila in A Thousand Splendid Suns.

And it ended up good for Laila.

Terrible for Mariam, but good for Laila and the other lives that Mariam rescued through her heroic, sacrificial act.

And what of Jesus’ sacrifice for you and I?

As a leader, to bring others into their own call in God,

I sacrifice my own wishes and wants for those who will come after me.

My sacrifice makes a future,

It elevates others, props them up so that they can succeed.

The everyday choices,

The bitterness I allow to either let sink into my heart or expel it,

The decisions I make to take the high road or the low road,

These all matter.

In my role as a leader and pastor, mother, wife, teacher and worship leader (gosh, I do a lot of things!),

I can’t get away from the idea that my life is no longer my own to live.

It takes a certain perspective to get to this point,

Because everything in us as humans cries out to have our own needs and wants met.

The life of a leader can be a lonely path because it requires a tighter, more narrow road.

Sacrifice is not pleasant.

No one is going to applaud you for the sacrifices you make for others.

Very often they go unnoticed by human eyes and ears.

But it doesn’t mean God doesn’t notice them.

God sees it, and the pain.

In fact, I believe when He sees the smouldering cinders of sacrifice in and on your life,

His heart recognizes a part of Himself in you and He draws closer.

And that’s the bittersweet beauty of sacrifice.

There is pain in the giving up, and the laying down of what you hold dear,

But there is a joy that comes from knowing that you’ve made a platform for another’s happiness,

Even if they are walking across to the other side on the back of your sacrifice.

Hopefully one day I’ll understand this more.

Right now, I’m still trying to figure it out.

– Cate x