For a long time, I felt that if my life wasn’t perfect then I had failed.
And that really bugged me.
I didn’t have the perfect marriage.
I didn’t have the perfect kids.
I didn’t have the perfect house.
I didn’t have the perfect relationship with God….
And I still don’t.
At least I can freely say that now…
As you can imagine, the list went on.
A sense of failure would rip through my thoughts and heart like I had messed it all up.
This longing to have the ‘perfect’ would cripple my decision making process,
And cause me to compare my life to others who seemingly,
From the outside looking in,
Had those ‘perfect’ lives.
I remember one day saying to God,
‘Why am I so miserable?‘
‘What am I doing so wrong?’
‘Why can’t I be happy?’
Oh gosh, those kinds of prayers are a recipe for a life revolution!
And I got one.
I truly needed it!
I can say that now, but at the time, it was hell.
I remember thinking almost daily during this season,
How could my life honestly can’t get any more chaotic, messy, ruined, imperfect….?
I believe God had to get me to the rock bottom of myself,
Excavate my life so thoroughly,
So that I could find the veins of gold He had been wanting to show me.
And what were these?
First, I learned that there is no perfect life
And that anyone who tells you any differently is either a liar,
Or delusional 🙂
Secondly, there are no perfect choices,
And if you make a choice that you know is slightly wrong, or imperfect,
God can deal with it.
In fact, He often does spectacular things with these messy moments.
My power works best in your weakness, He says.
I can’t tell you how much this has been proven in my life.
I have learned to settle in my imperfection.
It’s a really tough gig trying to prove to yourself and the world that you have it all together, all the time.
I’m now much more content to be the person who has it together some of the time.
I no longer have anything to prove.
I just care what God thinks of me and I love that His power is free to shine through me from under the throne of grace,
The safest and most productive place to sit when cultivating a life free from the need to be perfect.
I hear Him say almost daily, ‘It’s ok Cate. Trust me, I’ve got this. I’m going to take what you have given and make it all beautiful in my perfect timing. Learn to rest in who you are and who I have made you.”
Thirdly, making peace with imperfection is simply about choosing Trust over Fear.
Trust is the opposite of fear.
Trust means that I put fear under my foot and look skyward,
Not leaning on my own understanding.
I wish someone had told me earlier in my life that this kind of fear was all bluff.
Fear of failure,
Fear of rejection,
Fear of the unknown,
Fear of what others would think…
Do you think that He, the author and finisher of your faith would bring you this far to disappoint?
I had a revelation that it was actually in my weakness that He was my strength.
He had to show me what total imperfection meant in order that I might truly see what perfect looks like.
And perfect is this:
Living in trust and surrender,
Obedience and faith,
And overwhelming gratitude.
Perfect lives have mess and uncertainty,
They have seasons of imperfection and very real failure,
They are laced with irritations and wrong turns.
There were weeds in the garden when Adam and Eve were tending to it, I’m sure.
But that didn’t make their life any less ideal…
Likewise, the gardens of our lives are planted daily with imperfect weeds,
And that’s ok.
It doesn’t make it bad.
We need to understand that taking our game face off,
Of having lives that are more matte less gloss,
Is not only acceptable,
It’s where we learn to trust God and where we learn to live in a way that leans heavily into His grace for our lives.
Being imperfect is about letting our true selves be seen,
Because when we are,
Liberty, contentment, peace, rest and joy are able to flood in like they haven’t before.
Why don’t you join me in making peace with imperfect in your world?
I guarantee you will be more fulfilled.