Trust Without Borders

Trust without Borders https://cateywilliams.files.wordpress.com/2015/10/img_1317.jpg?w=300

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I took my kids to the beach this morning.

Under the azure blue sky I had one of the first moments to capture and put on hold my busy, running away from me life.

I got to breathe in and out and hear the water lap the shore.

I got to stop and sit and think about nothing, but everything.

Stop.

Listen.

Process.

I’ve had so much to process I haven’t known where to start.

Like taking 74 women away for the weekend down south on a creative retreat.

So much happened.

It was a significant milestone in my life.

It was a dream realised.

Since the weekend, I have wanted to write and write.

But honestly,

I haven’t had the first word that I knew would start the avalanche

Of words and emotions that I know are in there.

Somewhere.

I can’t find them, but I know they’re in there.

Too many feelings,

So many possibilities.

So many new friendships and potential.

I was overwhelmed at what transpired on the weekend.

Hearts touched.

God visited.

I was stretched.

I felt vulnerable, but big.

I know my capacity is increasing and stretching.

And I asked for that.

I am up for that.

I can see it coming.

But its almost taking my breath away.

It’s requiring me to take my hands off the wheel and allow Him to put His foot on the accelerator.

I want Him to drive.

He steers straight and in a true direction.

He drives with certainty and never faster than I can handle.

For someone who is wanting to stay safe and small

And keep her life in some intact, ziplocked, contained, intoverted state,

It’s scary to trust the bigness that driving with God brings.

But I’m surrendering even more and letting the words begin to come out one at a time.

The weekend for me was a significant moment in my history.

It was a dream realised.

Ropes from one person to another were fastened and connected,

The tent pegs were most certainly enlarged.

The unfurling of the tent that lay over me now seems too big for me to inhabit on my own.

And that’s the point.

This is bigger than me.

It is spacious but is floating on the wind.

I haven’t pinned it down yet.

There’s so much room to move in it,

And I don’t know how to fill it out.

And if it were solely up to me I’d be completely freaked out.

That’s why I feel overwhelmed.

I’m learning to trust God again

With the next step.

It’s bigger than me.

Last weekend,

Plans that I’ve been dreaming of for years came to pass and stared me in the face.

I wasn’t ready for that.

I knew it was coming, but I wasn’t ready for it.

When your dreams are realised, its almost as confronting as when they’re not.

You are forced to see if they measured up to the dream you had,

And then you are forced to find new ones.

Dream again.

Dream bigger.

Enlarge your tent.

Fill out the space.

I am in a season of seeing dreams come to pass

But also growing into new ones.

The new ones that are coming into my life are massive.

They require me to take my hands off the steering wheel and simply yell,

‘You do it!’

I can’t anymore.

God is my helper.  He is my very present help in times of trouble.  I will not be afraid.

Its a challenging space to be in.

To start the process again to see what lays on the horizon.

To allow the realisation of a dream to float into the history chapter of my life

And to venture once more into unchartered waters where my trust is without borders.

Beginnings and endings.

That’s all for now.

I’ll write again tomorrow.

I promise.

Cate x

Nothing can happen til after next weekend.

Nothing can happen til after next weekend. https://cateywilliams.files.wordpress.com/2015/09/photo-1430508222134-6bfb0ab1e8ae.jpg?w=300

There’s been an eerie haze over the city the last couple of days.

It’s calming, yet a little unsettling because it happens to coincide with a tetrad of blood moons and such…

Not that I’m a conspiracy theorist,

Not by any means.

But being the person that I am,

I can’t help but begin thinking about the end of things.

I don’t like thinking about the end of things,

Especially when I know the God of the bible is into new beginnings and new mercies and new opportunities.

I’m not saying He wouldn’t get to the point where He has had enough,

But I find it hard to reconcile things on this earth coming to an end when there is so much life left to live.

My friends have been dreaming about apocalypses and tidal waves,

Tsunamis and final countdowns.

All a bit unnerving really.

There’s a super moon, a blood moon, an eclipse…

I’m sure there’s more,

And I know that it lines up with Jewish festivals.

I am not ignorant of these things.

To be honest,

I don’t know what it means, if it means anything at all,

Spiritually speaking.

But I do know that as a christian I am called to discern the seasons and the times.

And there have been some crazy things going down lately.

Like ISIS and the marriage equality debate,

An issue only 10 years ago much of the Australian population would have scoffed at,

Let alone entertained.

Like the Syrian refugee crisis and the number of women and children going into sexual slavery.

I remember my Grandma saying that her Grandma thought the world was going to end back then.

But we’re still here.

Atrocities and injustices,

The martyrdom of christians…

So many bad things.

But then again, so, so many good things.

Maybe the world is just getting smaller,

Or rather,

Our awareness of these issues is being made more readily available.

I don’t know.

But I do know that we are living in unprecedented times.

The world is moving at a fast pace,

And I am determined to ride that train until its very end,

Whatever that looks like.

Right now,

I turn my attention to kids who need help with their homework,

To the friend who is trying to overcome addiction,

To the album I am putting vocals down for, that I know will influence many lives.

To the message of redemption and hope that I get the privilege of speaking to 75 creative, exceptional women next weekend at Inspire Retreat.

I will look out my window on Saturday at the red moon and once again wonder what it all means,

Whilst simultaneously whispering at its glowing form,

‘Nothing is allowed to change until after next weekend.’

I have a retreat to be at.

Excuse me while I focus on the life yet to live.

Cate x