I had too many tabs open and it was doing my head in.
The constant noise of demands and requests and things unfinished and things yet to do.
I knew it, but I didn’t know how to stop it.
I thought I was being responsible, living a full life so that nothing was wasted.
But that was silly thinking.
No one can sustain the pace that we set for ourselves and measure ourselves by without having to make conscious choices to detach for a season, frequently.
So that’s what I did.
I switched off.
I turned off the
- start eating raw foods/diet tab,
- pray for my kids tab,
- clean out my study tab,
- check the notifications on facebook & instagram tab (important to do when you’re starting up a new venture),
- get the kids’ uniforms ready for school tab,
- research my creative pursuits tab,
- write more songs & do another album tab,
- read more books tab,
- plan writing my book tab,
- pastor my church tab,
- pastor the people tab,
- attend to all the odd jobs that need doing tab,
- return my emails & answer every text tab,
- invest in important friendships tab,
- run the bible college tab,
- do more exercise tab,
- make appointments with everyone tab,
- …be a person tab.
I closed them all.
For one week.
I literally wrote them all down, put them all in a file and closed it.
I walked away from it all for one week and simply existed.
I had a holiday some might say,
Without having to document every pic that I took on social media,
How refreshing and liberating!
I enjoyed my moment.
I left my physical surroundings and retreated to another location,
Amongst trees and rivers and the ocean.
I smelt the rain on the earth.
I read whole books in one day. Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic (what a treat!)
I took photos for the simple pleasure of recalling memories,
I played board games with my children and watched television til late.
I ate chocolate and laughed with my husband.
I mused and thought and considered and stepped back.
Stepped back from the life I had created.
The too busy.
The crazy pace.
I’ve told myself that I have perspective.
But having nothing on my agenda for one week has now given me true perspective.
I have had the ability to de-clutter and simplify like I haven’t been able to for a long, long while.
Yes, I want to steward my life well and the things that have been put in my hand,
By giving my best to every inch of my day,
But that kind of intensity is unsustainable in the long run and sometimes you just have to switch it all off,
Kind of like re-booting your system.
I even missed church.
It’s ok to do it sometimes in order for the big picture to become clearer again.
In order to regain clarity over what should be taking my time and my emotional substance.
It’s like I’m firing on all cylinders.
My vision is sharp.
My head is not muddled with all the things that need to happen.
I am poised for adventure and advancement.
Without even trying,
My diet has rebooted,
My study is now clean,
My life is literally in an A4 folder.
You won’t see me as much on social media.
But I’m still here.
Is it time for you to reboot your life?